Ten things that still surprise me

1. Being a mother is a constant source of surprise.  This tiny new person so dependent on me and so delighted by my presence in the world.
2. Newfound competence. Those evenings when I make a balanced tasty meal, sweep the floor and carry out bath-time with song and cheer, I am filled with bemusement. I’m not so bad at this after all.
3. Ongoing incompetence. When I can’t think of anything to make but pasta, the house is a dizzying swirl of disorder and I snap at the baby, I’m surprised I’m not better at this by now.
4. A stable relationship. I somehow never thought that would happen to me.
5. Getting older. Doors closing. The realisation that the decisions I have made have set me on a path which I will follow for the rest of my life.
6. Why people would ever EVER tell a new mother that “it doesn’t get any easier”. That is a cruel lie and I would have thrown myself in the river if I hadn’t believed the other voices.
7. Childbirth. I see mothers, looking so nonchalant and devil-may-care, particularly those with numerous progeny, and think my word, you went through that extraordinary experience too. We survived. Incredible.
8.  How different men and women are. I didn’t believe in all that innate gender role crap before, but reality is striking.
9. That I’m an expat. I always thought I would go back to England, I never wanted to be a foreigner in a foreign land.
10. That we have wood heating, compost toilets and grow our own veg. I’m closer to the tepee dwelling, cabbage noshing eco-warrior that my brother once forecast than I had anticipated.